It is no easier to say goodbye
than it was the first time we had to go.
The thought of it still makes me cry,
although my head tells me it shouldn't be so.

The pain comes unexpectedly.
My heart is still empty
Although, it shouldn't be.

On the exterior the world looks bright.
Underneath, it's a different sight.
The hollowness, despair just won't go away.
I try to see the good in each new day.

Small reminders of the life we left
Keep creeping in and showing themselves.
Our home stands empty pulling us back.
Our hearts are there, but it would be off track.

We must stay our course, and work it through.
It has to get easier, it must, it's true.
But until then, my heart will hurt
The tears will flow
And a very little piece of me will die
Because we have to go.

Tour de Georgia

Yesterday we went to the team presentation. It was awesome to be feet away from some of the best cyclists in the world - Fast Freddie, Floyd Landis, Tom Danielson, countless European riders that I am not going to attempt to spell their names ...

In about an hour I will head out to see the start of the Tour de Georgia. I hope to get on a good corner and be able to video tape the riders coming toward me and turning. Ahhh what power that is going to be. I am soooooo excited!!!! Oh, and Phil Liggit stood beside us yesterday. I wanted to reach over and touch him, but I also didn't want to be classified as psycho, so I kept my hands to myself.

I'll post pics tonight. Can you post video on this blog thing?

Jokes

In cleaning out closets and dressers last week, I ran across my "joke book". This is not a book of amusing saying to provoke laughter, but a book I made of "poems" I wrote in my college years. I called them jokes, because I thought poetry was a joke. I thought when I had to write my first poem in high school, it was a joke. So, in writing my thought down in a non-traditional pattern of words, I deemed them "jokes". I thought I would start including one on this blog every so often. I don't claim to be a poet, or that this is even poetry or good or anything, but it is from me and I am sharing it with you.

joke i

THE MOON FALLS INTO THE OCEAN AS ICE WOULD
FALL INTO A GLASS OF WHISKEY
exploding.
BURNING THE FISH
OVER AN OPEN FIRE
hot.
SWEAT POURING FROM THE PORCELAIN SKIN
TURNING RED - DRIPPING BLOOD
death.
SLEEPING FOREVER - NEVER WAKING
LIGHTENING FLASHES - CLOUDS BURST OPEN
life.
SUDDENLY LIGHT FILLS EVERY SPACE
BLINDINGLY WAKING EVERYTHING
cold.
WHITE LIGHT COVERING THE EARTH
LIKE SNOW
evaporating.
THE EARTH AND EVERYTHING IN IT IS
SWALLOWED UP AS SOMEONE WOULD SWALLOW
THE LAST DROP IN A GLASS OF WHISKEY
peace.
tranquility.
nothing.
everything.
here.
gone.
lasting.
stopping.
forgetting.
remembering.
EXPLODING!

Ran: 1 mile
Walked: 1/2 mile
Ran: 1/2 mile

I exceeded my goals and ran for a total of 1 1/2 miles.

Can't wait for Wednesday!

I'm Going To Do It ...

... I am going to run this afternoon. Really, I am. My goal is one mile. That may be a lofty goal seeing that I haven't exercised in seven months, but I'm going for it.

None of this couch to 5k stuff.

Nuh uh, not for me.

Guts or glory.

Going all out.

ONE MILE!!!!!!

For Desiree ....

I, too, had big hair at a young age. Age seven ... angel wings (yes after the hairstyle inspired by THE Charlies Angels)!

Since everyone else in my family is showing off how cute they were, I thought I would join in ....

We currently find ourselves in limbo, once again.

I am not going to go into details why we are in limbo, but there may be a move in our near future.

It would be a good move. A long-term move. A move that would get us back to a community that we can invest our money, time and emotions into.

As most of you know, we have not been happy in Augusta. We moved here to get closer to family and to give Christian new opportunities in his career. We knew, when we moved, that we were not going to be here long term. This is a stepping-stone for Christian. Once we got here, we went through a period of mourning for what we had “lost”. That, coupled with the fact that Augusta has problems, big problems, made our attitude toward our current situation very sour. Now, that we are past the mourning, we are still left with the fact that this is not a city that we really want to invest ourselves in. There are too many issues and we don’t want to be here long enough to try to solve any of them. Is that a selfish attitude on our part? I am beginning to think it is.

It is easy to go into a community that has the right attitude, and is obviously taking steps in the positive direction, and get involved. It is not so easy to go into a community that has problems we have never had to experience, and try to get them going in a positive direction. Especially, if we know we won’t be here for more that a few years. If this current situation does not work out, and we are in Augusta for a while, I have to change my attitude. I will not become a better person by sitting back and saying how bad this city is.

No, I may not be able to make a difference, but I can try. I think I would like to focus on children and a reading program. There are so many children in this city that have no advantages. They have no one to set a positive example for them. They have no sense of chance. I have the ability to give that to them. It’s not like I am going to get involved in a neighborhood or downtown. I really have nothing else to do.

So, if we stay, I’m going to get involved. I am going to make the most of my time here. I am going to enjoy this phase of our life and learn as much as I can from it. If we move, we will be moving to a community that will be easy to get involved with, so there won’t be an issue.