A Friend Is A Present You Give Yourself
Not if they are two-faced and only out for what is best for them.
Okay, I am a little perterbed at a situation. I have shared my views with my husband and he feels the same, so it is not a thing of me mispercieving actions of another. Our neighbor used to be best friends with us. We would have "Soup Sunday" every week, where we would alternate cooking dinner for each other. We would hang out, do things together, borrow stuff from each other. Great friend. We could talk openly with one another and you knew she could be depended on. For some reason that has changed over the last few months. Well, not for some reason, I think we have been replaced. It feels now that we are second choice. We are good if she has nothing better to do. I thought, well, maybe it's all in my head, so I have gone out of my way to do things for her to let her know that she is important in our lives. This past weekend was her birthday. I threw her a party and invited half a dozen of her friends. We spent over $200 on food and we gave her a "certificate" for 36 hours of kid free time. I think she said thank you once. It used to be we would hug when we left, etc. Nothing. So, now I'm thinking, why bother. I just don't get it. I am finding more and more people in this world who really don't care about the other person. It is making me sick. I find that I don't have many (if any) close friends. I don't really trust anyone anymore. I am glad I have my husband and family.
So, is this just me, or do others find the same thing? Maybe I expect too much from my friends. I know that with a true friend, I want to make them feel like the most important person. I just don't find that I get the same in return. And, I don't do things for what I may get in return, but it would be nice to be reciprocated occasionally. Blah.
posted by Heather @ 12:18 PM
1 Comments:
Heather, you certainly have the right to feel unappreciated and be perturbed. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to be a friend to the other person, but for some reason she no longer wants to have the same relationship you once had. It would be nice if people communicated those things, but they don't. I am sure there is nothing you have done to cause her to distance herself, and there is probably nothing you can do to change her viewpoint. I have found that many times friendships wax and wane. It is good to give people space for a while, then on occasion they will be ready to resume the relationship at the former level. Another factor possibly influencing the person is personal changes she may be experiencing - whether physical or emotional. However, no explanation removes the sense of loss and hurt one feels when situations like this occur. It just provides an (unasked for) opportunity to go in another direction and find others to socialize with. It seems that in this world any more lasting friendships are few, and the most you can hope for are friendly acquaintances. That underscores the importance of family in all of our social lives. Be of good heart!
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