Death Becomes Us
Well, there has another tragedy on my mom's side of the family. Her youngest sister died of cancer yesterday. That makes my mom, two aunts, and my grandfather all to die of cancer. Can a family be cursed? I have one aunt and cousins left on my mom's side. The ties to that family are slowly dwindling away.
I found myself a bit introspective last night, after I heard the news. I am sad because there were a few things I wanted to tell her the next time I saw her. I didn't get that chance. I did get a chance to visit with her a few months ago. It had been years since I had seen her, so I am very thankful for that time. She was a wonderfully positive person. We may not have stayed in consistent contact over the years, but everytime we talked or visited, it was great. She had recently made two scrapbooks of old pictures of my mom, and aunts and uncles. It is a great piece of history that I will treasure and pass on to my children.
While I am sad and regretful over this loss, it is not overwhelming. Since my mom's death, I find myself looking at death differently. I think it hurts the ones left behind more than the person who dies. That being said, how do we minimize that pain? One thing that I do is try to look at the positive in the situation. What can I learn from the persons life, how they lived or how they died? How can I then, take those lessons and apply it to my life to make me a better person? It seems to be working.
Another thought that is weighing on me is the repetition of cancer deaths. Will it also affect our generation? Are my sisters, cousins and me destined to die early deaths of cancer? I cannot accept that I may only have 10-20 years left on this earth. That is not enough time. I want to have kids and see them grow up. I want to have to take care of my husband when we are old. I have things that I have to do. I do eat healthy and occasionally exercise. I will be more diligent with that. I will also be more proactive in getting screened for various cancers. I am going to beat this curse. But, if I don't everyone should celebrate my life, not mourn.
posted by Heather @ 4:18 PM
1 Comments:
My belief, which would get me in trouble at Church, is that one must die to enter the next part of their life. Depending on your spirituality that could be heaven, reincarnation, or something else. I really don't care which one it is. I believe that we are all put on earth for a reason and that by touching one other life in a positive way you have found the meaning of life. Your aunt touched you in so many positive ways that she would be proud of her effect on your life. Perhaps her legacy is that you will now be more diligent in watching over your own health.
When my father passed away, I was not angry. I was sad, but only for a very brief period. My father's legacy to me was to put family and friends before your job and yourself. He also taught me that bringing love and a laugh to someone's heart is the greatest gift of all. Like your aunt, I believe my father died so that others could see the value of love and laughter in people's lives. My father, and your aunt, wouldn't want others to dwell on their death and be sad for a long time. Rather, they want us to live their legacy. I am proud and honored to do this in remembernce of my father and I think if you search your heart, you will feel the sameway about yourself.
If that doesn't convince you, consider this. Right after my father died a nephew of mine who was going through rehab at the time for an addiction to pain killers took the time to send me a three page e-mail. In essence, his message was that it is important to honor a lost loved one by making yourself stronger and living your life filled with love. It was the only thing he ever e-mailed me that sounded so adult and well-thought out. It was an inspiration to know that someone else loved me so much that they took time out of dealing with their own agony to let me know that love and laughter was what mattered most. Treasure your loved ones and try everyday to make them laugh.
If all else fails, I'll send you a picture of Joe wearing a black negligee!!
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